Saturday 7th - Better and better

Definitely feeling more human today. We both slept in until well after 7am, then I got up to have my synarel and do my hormone shots. Felt a bit queasy afterwards and fell back asleep on the couch for what must have been a good hour. L went to the shops to get dishwashing liquid. I didn't even know that we were out/running low, which shows you how much I've done the dishes lately (zilch). He even bought two bottles AND the right brand of washing powder. What a star. He's also been washing AND drying/putting away dishes in one lot. I'm very happy with him for that.

I cooked up eggs florentine for a big late breakfast and then sat on the couch and continued with my book. We had a bit of a tiff when he wanted to play his game (apparently it's getting better now, the game that is), and I wanted some peace and quiet. He tried to set up headphones but with no luck. I retreated to the bedroom because I can't stand the noise of it.

I wasn't happy about that. The living room was so peaceful and the fan was on perfectly and the cushions and the couch supported my back and my arm just right. It was airy and breezy and lovely. Even when Mum was visiting, the noise of the game drove her to the study where she sat and read her book, cramped in with the clothes hanger, desk, boxes and suitcase. The game is just so dominating - even when you turn it down low all you hear is guns shooting and people making unpleasant dying-in-pain noises.

However, not so many minutes later, he came back into the bedroom and said he'd stop playing his game so I could sit in the living room. That was nice. It was so nice not to have the TV on either.

L soon got bored with no TV and no game so he ran a couple of errands, including going to Bunnings for a nail gun and a shovel. While he was gone I swept up all the leaves on the brick patio (which was a big job because there were a lot of leaves, but I figured the sweeping was a good gentle stretch for my arm), and when he came back he shovelled all the leaves into the big wheelie bin. The yard looks so much nicer now, and Suki is back to lounging on the bricks like she owns the place.

L later went out again to play some golf with M and I tidied the study, throwing away a lot of unnecessary papers. That was great. Had two lovely phone calls while L was out both times. The first was from a family friend of L's parents. I first met her at the wedding we went to in NZ late last year. She was the mother of the groom and she went through this in her 30s, 30 years ago. It was really nice to talk to her and hear that there is the 'other side' of this. I wasn't sure how much we could share, with different treatments available now, but no doubt the anxiety and the worries and the fears are the same.

The second was from L's Uncle C, who lives in Canberra/Blue Mountains. I've never met him, but he rang to make contact and wish me well and invited us to visit them when we would like to. He asked if there was anything he could do to help and offered us their assistance too, which was lovely. I told him how great the medical staff had been and how fortunate we are to be in Australia under medicare. We're definitely looking forward to visiting C and his partner when we have the opportunity! And thinking of visits, L's mum confimed that she and his dad will be visiting us at the beginning of June, which will be lovely too. Lots of really great things to look forward to.

I've been thinking more and more about chemotherapy and hair loss. The 'World's Greatest Shave' is coming up soon and people are being sponsored to cut/shave/colour their hair to fundraise for leukemia. In some ways it will be good because I won't be the only badly about (although if I do lose my hair it will probably be an a couple of months, not when the 'shave' event is on). I wonder if the drugs they will give me will indeed cause hair loss and if so, how much? Will my eyebrows go? What about my eyelashes? I guess these will all be answered in time. I've been advised to cut my hair short if it is going to fall out, because apparently it's a lot less stressful losing short hair than losing big clumps of long hair. I don't know how I am going to cope with the hair loss side of things. I had short hair once, but I didn't like it because my ears got cold at night. I suppose that's not so much of an issue in this climate!

Generally though, today was good. I'm not so tired and not so sore, although I am still sore. The numbness is very odd. Where I do have sensation, it kind of feels like a cross between sunburn and when you hit your funny-bone or sometimes like when you get pins and needles plus like pulled muscle where it's healing up. I can sometimes feel the air, it feels like a trickle of water or like the cat's tail has brushed against me. And it still feels heavy under my arm and as if I am carrying a squashy balloon under there - I can't quite feel the skin touching itself. I've been patting and stroking my numb bits though, to teach the brain and the nerves to make contact there. And I've been doing my exercises. The hardest ones are when I have to creep my fingers up the wall. Here's hoping tomorrow is a good day too. The good days are getting more frequent.