Saturday 28th - Home again

Got discharged form hospital this morning, they seemed to be ok about me going home. I've got my drain in a bag pinned to my PJ pants. Can't really remember much about yesterday, who I saw and who I talked to. Seemed to be much drowsier after the anaesthetic. L and D sat with me after I was moved to my bed, this time in a curtained off area shared with others. He had to go a little while later as it was 'rest time' but came back at about 3ish to spend the rest of the day with me. I did get moved to a private room at about 6.30pm, which I was pleased about. I think my snoring might have been the clincher in that deal.

Yesterday was hard and today was tough too - mentally mostly. The physical pain is pretty much kept under control with painkillers but have felt a lot more depressed in general about my 'disfigurement'. I know it can be fixed later with cosmetic surgery, but at the moment I feel so incomplete. Had a few tears at home with L (and in the hosptial yesterday). I had a little peek at my breast in the mirror when I was having a shower at the hospital this morning. Had been told by the doctor the evening before that she'd taken out well over 25%. The poor left breast certainly looked like a deflated balloon. I can't bring myself to look again and haven't been brave enough to show L yet. It's really hard to think that some part of me is gone. It sounds vain, but I did like my breasts and now one of them looks particularly awful and shrunken. It's tempting to think about having the other one reduced down so at least they match in size. I hate wearing padded bras.