Thursday, March 26, 2009
Thursday 26th - Sleep
Had a great sleep last night. Even had quite entertaining and fun dreams. That aspiration must have really helped. It's meant that I feel quite good and relaxed today. My brain actually feels like it's almost working to full capacity. Also relieved that all the tests for this week are over.
Thursday 26th - Boney
Today was my bone scan. I met D at Roma St bus station (platform 1, escalator 2) and we went up to the hospital together for the first part of my bone scan. The bone scan is to check if the cancer has progressed at all to my bones. We haven't been given any indication that this may be the case, but I think it's a routine pre-chemo procedure. I hope so!
I had the same guy do the needle, but my veins must have been behaving themselves today because he got it in all right. After that, D and I went back to the city, where we had a lovely breakfast/brunch... perhaps lunch by that stage as it would have been close on midday. We wandered through Myer to have a look at computers (D) and hats (me) and to a wig shop just to feel like what it was like in there. We also went to a super-nerdy comic book games shop and then moseyed back up to the hospital for the actual scan.
That involved lying on another narrow bed thing (they should really invent lumbar support rolls for those things) with the tops of my feet taped together, heels apart. My arms were in a kind of blue sack, which kept them at my side but my shoulders hunched forwards a bit, making it not so comfortable to relax or breathe because my head was a bit bent forward.
I had to lie still for 20 minutes or so. That was hard. You know when you have to lie still and you want to twitch your toe or scratch your ear...? But I managed to do it satisfactorily, or at least, they didn't ask me to repeat the exercise.
The big flat camera thing came very very close to me this time (as I'd been warned). It was so close that I felt that if I tipped my head, my nose would touch it. I kept my eyes closed most of the time because it was just too close. When I opened them after about 10 minutes, I was really surprised to see that I'd moved, well, the bed had moved, away from the doughnut and the camera was photographing my body further down. I hadn't even felt like I was moving at all.
As I was moved outwards, I could see the screen with the photographs being taken. There was a really vivid white spot in my pelvis that had me worried but the assistant explained that it was just the radioactive stuff that they'd given me, which gets expelled through the urine.
I was nicely wrapped up in a blanket the whole time, and D was allowed to stay in the room and keep tapping away on his computer creating his game. It was actually really reassuring to hear the tippety tap of him typing, as we couldn't really talk due to my immobility and the low camera.
Once that was over with, we had another photo session, this time with my elbows up. That only took about 5 minutes, so wasn't too bad at all. We came home by bus. Had contemplated walking but the sun was quite low and hot by then so decided bus was best. Stopped off for a spot of supermarket shopping on the way home and then both of us talked to Mum on skype to catch up. I'll hopefully talk to Dad tomorrow morning before we go in. D offered to come with us tomorrow, which was nice. I think we'll just go on our own for this time. There will be plenty of other times.
I had the same guy do the needle, but my veins must have been behaving themselves today because he got it in all right. After that, D and I went back to the city, where we had a lovely breakfast/brunch... perhaps lunch by that stage as it would have been close on midday. We wandered through Myer to have a look at computers (D) and hats (me) and to a wig shop just to feel like what it was like in there. We also went to a super-nerdy comic book games shop and then moseyed back up to the hospital for the actual scan.
That involved lying on another narrow bed thing (they should really invent lumbar support rolls for those things) with the tops of my feet taped together, heels apart. My arms were in a kind of blue sack, which kept them at my side but my shoulders hunched forwards a bit, making it not so comfortable to relax or breathe because my head was a bit bent forward.
I had to lie still for 20 minutes or so. That was hard. You know when you have to lie still and you want to twitch your toe or scratch your ear...? But I managed to do it satisfactorily, or at least, they didn't ask me to repeat the exercise.
The big flat camera thing came very very close to me this time (as I'd been warned). It was so close that I felt that if I tipped my head, my nose would touch it. I kept my eyes closed most of the time because it was just too close. When I opened them after about 10 minutes, I was really surprised to see that I'd moved, well, the bed had moved, away from the doughnut and the camera was photographing my body further down. I hadn't even felt like I was moving at all.
As I was moved outwards, I could see the screen with the photographs being taken. There was a really vivid white spot in my pelvis that had me worried but the assistant explained that it was just the radioactive stuff that they'd given me, which gets expelled through the urine.
I was nicely wrapped up in a blanket the whole time, and D was allowed to stay in the room and keep tapping away on his computer creating his game. It was actually really reassuring to hear the tippety tap of him typing, as we couldn't really talk due to my immobility and the low camera.
Once that was over with, we had another photo session, this time with my elbows up. That only took about 5 minutes, so wasn't too bad at all. We came home by bus. Had contemplated walking but the sun was quite low and hot by then so decided bus was best. Stopped off for a spot of supermarket shopping on the way home and then both of us talked to Mum on skype to catch up. I'll hopefully talk to Dad tomorrow morning before we go in. D offered to come with us tomorrow, which was nice. I think we'll just go on our own for this time. There will be plenty of other times.
Wednesday 25th - Cancer buddy
On Wednesday morning I was able to video-skype with a friend of mine who lives in the US and is two cycles through his chemotherapy. It was really great to be able to talk to someone who can understand more what it's like, learning this new language of cancer. He lives there with his wife (they are both kiwis) and their cat, so we can share cat stories too. Our cats are even friends on Facebook.
Wednesday 25th - Pizza!
Wednesday night we were so bushed that we ordered pizza in and ate it with neighbour J. I'm afraid we weren't much company for her because we were so tired, but we had a lovely night watching Spicks and Specks and The Gruen Transfer. J is probably horrified about the amount of TV we watch. She also has a sewing machine which I can borrow if I want to - yay! The CCQ gave me a booklet about managing hair loss and it included a pattern to make your own 'turban'. A turban is basically a little hat made of stretchy teeshirt material that you wear on your head (duh) under a hat, or just around the hous or while sleeping. KA has also volunteered to make me some in NZ too. I just have to scan and email her the pattern.
Wednesday 25th - Wigging out
After the hospital, I caught the bus back to town for a nice lunch with TW and LL. I got there quite early and had a good catch up with K before I went out with the other two. Lunch was lovely and then LL and I headed up to Gregory Terrace to find the Cancer Council to have a look at their "wig library". It turned out that the CCQ was at FIVE HUNDRED and fifty three, not fifty three as I'd written down. At least we got a little bit of exercise!
The wig library was a bit smaller than I'd envisioned, just a room with a dressing table/mirror and a cupboard full of wigs. I liked the first one I tried on and then I got to choose a turban and another hat to take away with me. It was quite fun and the best thing is that the items are all on loan, so they didn't cost a thing. L wants to try the wig on but I'm sure with his hair it will stretch. At the moment it still looks a bit bouffy on me because my own hair underneath adds bulk.
Afterwards, LL and I had a very quiet and relaxing beer at a nearby hotel, old style on the verandah under the shade. We were the only people there and it was fabulous. We had a lovely time just chatting about this and that and 'talking shit'.
The wig library was a bit smaller than I'd envisioned, just a room with a dressing table/mirror and a cupboard full of wigs. I liked the first one I tried on and then I got to choose a turban and another hat to take away with me. It was quite fun and the best thing is that the items are all on loan, so they didn't cost a thing. L wants to try the wig on but I'm sure with his hair it will stretch. At the moment it still looks a bit bouffy on me because my own hair underneath adds bulk.
Afterwards, LL and I had a very quiet and relaxing beer at a nearby hotel, old style on the verandah under the shade. We were the only people there and it was fabulous. We had a lovely time just chatting about this and that and 'talking shit'.
Wednesday 25th - Talk
I talked to another patient today. This was the first time I'd talked to another person at the Breast Care clinic. I was in the bathroom by the waiting room and there was a lady there holding two drain bags and I commented to her 'I recognise those bags.' She looked like she was trying to do something so I offered to help. She wanted to squeeze as much of the fluid out of the holding container into the bags as possible. I always had L do mine, so I did hers for her.
She said her husband wouldn't do it in public. I squeezed as much as I could but she'd already done a good job. She'd had them in for several days, poor thing. We talked about the inconvenience of them a bit and I felt a bit hopeless because I couldn't squeeze more out of them, but I think they were done to the end. I wished her luck getting them out that day. It was really nice to talk to someone else. Usually because I have my whanau support group with me so I talk with them.
She said her husband wouldn't do it in public. I squeezed as much as I could but she'd already done a good job. She'd had them in for several days, poor thing. We talked about the inconvenience of them a bit and I felt a bit hopeless because I couldn't squeeze more out of them, but I think they were done to the end. I wished her luck getting them out that day. It was really nice to talk to someone else. Usually because I have my whanau support group with me so I talk with them.
Wednesday 25th - Surprise
The appointment for the draining session ("aspiration") was at 10.30 upstairs on level 3 where they do the scans. I had just enough time to get to the cafe to grab a cheese and cracker pack and a coffee before heading up. I foolishly hadn't had any breakfast (because I wasn't hungry and was expecting to meet a friend for coffee mid-morning, not have more things poked in me), but knew I'd need some blood sugar to get me through the next bit.
I waited in the waiting room for a good 40 minutes before I had my session, as I'd been slotted in at the last minute. The scan-nurse was really nice as was the other nurse and the doctor. They scanned my breast and could see a wide, flat pool of liquid which was 6x6x1 cm. The doctor came in and gave me some local anaesthetic in my breast. That wasn't too bad because I still didn't have a lot of sensation in that area anyway. When they asked me, I lied a little bit and said I did, so that they'd be more gentle! I'm sure they would have been the same anyway.
I didn't look, but they put a large-ish needle attached to a syringe in. Apparently it was even bigger than the needle used for the biopsy. Yikes. I could feel them using gauze to stem any leakage and suddenly developed a strong fascination with the sprinkler valve on the roof above me and to the right.
The doctor and the nurse sucked the fluid out. I could hear the sucking in the tube a bit, which wasn't pleasant to think about, back to concentrating on the sprinkler valve. They had to change the vial at one stage, but I couldn't feel a thin, could only hear them talking about it. At the end, they really wanted to squeeze the last remaining fluid out, and squeeze they did! I felt like a lemon being squeezed of its last juice. They got out another mil or two, removed the needle, and then out a waterproof gauze thing over the hole.
They got 57 ml out. It was clear, not murky, which was a good sign of no infection. They advised me to keep going with the antibiotics anyway.
Apparently people can have 100s of ml removed, and several sessions. I hope I don't have to go back there.
My breast definitely looked 'flatter' on the top afterwards. I hadn't really thought about it before then because my breasts are quite round and firm anyways and the blood which had pooled just made my left one look more 'normal' to me. The nurse said it would be more comfortable for me. It hadn't been particularly uncomfortable, but on Wednesday night I slept so well and even had nice normal dreams, so it must have made a difference. It's definitely more of a match for size with the right one now.
I waited in the waiting room for a good 40 minutes before I had my session, as I'd been slotted in at the last minute. The scan-nurse was really nice as was the other nurse and the doctor. They scanned my breast and could see a wide, flat pool of liquid which was 6x6x1 cm. The doctor came in and gave me some local anaesthetic in my breast. That wasn't too bad because I still didn't have a lot of sensation in that area anyway. When they asked me, I lied a little bit and said I did, so that they'd be more gentle! I'm sure they would have been the same anyway.
I didn't look, but they put a large-ish needle attached to a syringe in. Apparently it was even bigger than the needle used for the biopsy. Yikes. I could feel them using gauze to stem any leakage and suddenly developed a strong fascination with the sprinkler valve on the roof above me and to the right.
The doctor and the nurse sucked the fluid out. I could hear the sucking in the tube a bit, which wasn't pleasant to think about, back to concentrating on the sprinkler valve. They had to change the vial at one stage, but I couldn't feel a thin, could only hear them talking about it. At the end, they really wanted to squeeze the last remaining fluid out, and squeeze they did! I felt like a lemon being squeezed of its last juice. They got out another mil or two, removed the needle, and then out a waterproof gauze thing over the hole.
They got 57 ml out. It was clear, not murky, which was a good sign of no infection. They advised me to keep going with the antibiotics anyway.
Apparently people can have 100s of ml removed, and several sessions. I hope I don't have to go back there.
My breast definitely looked 'flatter' on the top afterwards. I hadn't really thought about it before then because my breasts are quite round and firm anyways and the blood which had pooled just made my left one look more 'normal' to me. The nurse said it would be more comfortable for me. It hadn't been particularly uncomfortable, but on Wednesday night I slept so well and even had nice normal dreams, so it must have made a difference. It's definitely more of a match for size with the right one now.
Wednesday 25th - Post-op check up
I waited about 40 minutes for my post-op check up. It was with Dr Ben again, plus resident. It was funny because when I got in there, they'd just brought in some more chairs in preparation for my whanau support group. They were very surprised that it was just me.
Ben asked me about the red patch and had a look as well. He pressed on it (gently) and remarked to the resident how it goes white and then red again, which indicated a seroma, a pocket of fluid in the cavity. It's very common after breast surgery. The doctor who'd seen me briefly on Monday also had a quick look and confirmed that it was a seroma and that I've have to have it drained. Not what I was wanting to hear! I asked if it could be done on Thursday but efficient Patsy organised it for that very morning, because they wouldn't have the resources on Thursday. In a way it was good, because I didn't have time to get worried about it. Aside from that, the post-op check up was good and over with fairly quickly.
Ben asked me about the red patch and had a look as well. He pressed on it (gently) and remarked to the resident how it goes white and then red again, which indicated a seroma, a pocket of fluid in the cavity. It's very common after breast surgery. The doctor who'd seen me briefly on Monday also had a quick look and confirmed that it was a seroma and that I've have to have it drained. Not what I was wanting to hear! I asked if it could be done on Thursday but efficient Patsy organised it for that very morning, because they wouldn't have the resources on Thursday. In a way it was good, because I didn't have time to get worried about it. Aside from that, the post-op check up was good and over with fairly quickly.
Wednesday 25th - Physio
I thought that on Wednesday I was going to have a straightforward day with just a check up with Hildegard, but I was wrong! When I signed in at the front desk, they told me that I was seeing the doctor as well. I vaguely remember making this post-op appointment...
I did see Hildegard after seeing the doctor and she was pleased with my progress. The massaging she'd shown me really did work, even though I didn't enjoy doing it because the sensation of the massage wasn't so pleasant. But it produced the desired result, which was good.
I did see Hildegard after seeing the doctor and she was pleased with my progress. The massaging she'd shown me really did work, even though I didn't enjoy doing it because the sensation of the massage wasn't so pleasant. But it produced the desired result, which was good.
Tuesday 24th - CT Scan
C and I took a bus one stop down to the Mater to QScan. We were about 20 minutes early but they had us wait in the waiting room until someone brought me about 600ml of liquid which I had to drink every 15 minutes. That was at about 3.20pm and we asked if it was OK to leave the building while I drank it. It was fine and I set the alarm on my phone to go every 15 minutes as a reminder. We walked down to the coffee shop on the corner. I realised that T worked at the Mater and gave her a call to see if she was able to join us. She did, and the three of us had a coffee and a chat. It was the best waiting time ever. L was finishing work at around 4, so when he called I suggested he join us. He walked over from his work and got there just in time for us to head back up for the scan.
I went in on my own and had to put a gown on. They did end up putting a needle thingie in me, but they were very skilled. I lay down on a bed thing, which moved through the doughnut. They gave me an injection of something, which as they'd warned me, made me feel very warm and gave me a metallic taste in my mouth. It was a very strange sensation, especially as the further the warmth travelled down my torso, the warmer it became and made me feel like I'd wet my pants. They told me I'd feel like that, and they were right. It only lasted about 30 seconds though, thankfully.
I lay still, breathed in, held it, breathed normally, as the machine instructed. It was over in a matter of minutes and I was able to get dressed and join L out in the waiting area. C and M gave us a lift back to L's car and we went home for a well-deserved rest.
I went in on my own and had to put a gown on. They did end up putting a needle thingie in me, but they were very skilled. I lay down on a bed thing, which moved through the doughnut. They gave me an injection of something, which as they'd warned me, made me feel very warm and gave me a metallic taste in my mouth. It was a very strange sensation, especially as the further the warmth travelled down my torso, the warmer it became and made me feel like I'd wet my pants. They told me I'd feel like that, and they were right. It only lasted about 30 seconds though, thankfully.
I lay still, breathed in, held it, breathed normally, as the machine instructed. It was over in a matter of minutes and I was able to get dressed and join L out in the waiting area. C and M gave us a lift back to L's car and we went home for a well-deserved rest.
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